Sounds like a living hell. Trapped inside malfunctioning bodies & minds and being dragged back to the KH! Torture. They don't have much choice. Their parents are their caregivers and they are JWs. I'd probably want to find a way to top myself if that were me.
Gulf Coaster
JoinedPosts by Gulf Coaster
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11
Could this happen to you?
by adjusted knowledge inthere was a jw who was a born in and faded about 10 years ago near a congregation i attended.
he never married or had children and was in his late 30's.
his parents shun him for the most part but then he had a major stroke.
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Try Other Religions
by Sofia Lose insometimes i get a strong curiosity to start dabbling into other religions, other faiths, you know?
really different ones such as islam, judaism, hinduism, etc.. has anyone here looked into something else?
has your spirituality been satisfied by any other than christianity?.
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Gulf Coaster
Briefly went back to the Catholic Church. Enjoyed the rituals more than anything. Communion, hymns, nice acoustics and atmosphere in the church, Pancake breakfasts, churchgoers who were more relaxed and easygoing than JW bots, etc. But soon wondered why I was there because I don't believe in any god. It's a man-made construct from eons ago when there was no science or knowledge to explain all the bizarre and scary things in the world.
And when the church expected everyone to go out and join an anti-abortion protest, that's when I decided I was not in the right place. My doctor's office in Vancouver was in a building that often had anti-abortion protestors outside. I found them disturbing and creepy and I didn't want to have anything to do with that. Who am I, who are they, to dictate control over women's bodies and lives? Nah, couldn't justify that.
Happily a Heathen now. I'd rather treat others well, volunteer, help out those who need help regardless of their faith or lack of.
I get "spiritual experiences" gazing out over miles of undeveloped, pristine wilderness (Canyonlands, Grand Canyon, Yosemite, etc.), hiking through forests, floating effortlessly in the warm ocean, enjoying a lovely meal and great wine with good friends, admiring great art, listening to my favorite music, etc.
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Advice Needed - JW Grandparents
by What Now? inmy family has been out (inactive no meeting attendance or field service) for just over two years..
weve made many changes in our lives, including with our personal appearances (tattoos, piercings etc) that are a pretty obvious sign that we arent going back any time soon.
our families went through a period of time about a year ago when they made a lot of threats that if we left the truth, they wouldnt even be able to share a meal with us, they would stay loyal to jehovah etc.
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Gulf Coaster
I would find it aggravating to have to regularly counter any indoctrination BS my kids were exposed to, or to have to constantly assure them that the way we live is perfectly fine despite the critical, fear mongering crap from granny and grandpa. Raising kids is hard enough, why should I have to do that? Because grandparents. Wow, I didn't know I was some sort of 2nd class nobody that, as an adult, I still had to kowtow to my parents and allow them to disrupt my life and f*** up my kids. Sorry, I didn't get that memo.
Young kids can get confused easily which can be upsetting to them. And sometimes it won't be evident that they're upset or confused. It'll show up as some health or behavioral issue later and you'll be left wondering what's going on, having to pick up the pieces. They need structure and an even keel in life.
My daughter started wetting her bed when she was about 5. We found out soon after that it was because my mother, despite being told to bugger off with the JW propaganda, had told my daughter some typical JW doom and gloom story about everyone being destroyed by god because of whatever. It freaked my little baby girl out. I literally could have punched my mother out for that. I was so mad that my husband had to give my mother the talking-to because I could not trust myself. My husband said he could barely contain himself either. We banned her for 6 months for that. She didn't pull that again.
That is why I'm not at all sympathetic to rolling over for JW rellies. It's not like most other religions. It's far more severe and harsh, which can be frightening to some kids as they're either too young to process that crazy information or just don't have that capability like others might. And the JWs will be sneaky about it too, undermining your trust and your authority because they do not respect you, smugly believing they're right and superior to you. Why should you respect that?
I wish you luck and I hope the relationships with your relatives is worth it and ends up being fine. But just keep a real good eye and ear out, trust no one but your instincts.
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Getting it out of my system, a VERY long introduction/outpouring..
by adimmedlight inwarning, novel ahead:.
after a few months of lurking on this site, i've decided to take the plunge...i don't really care so much about introducing myself, but somehow there is some relief in the thought of getting my little story out there, just getting it out of my system.
i am the oldest of 5 kids.
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Gulf Coaster
Hey adimmedlight, great read, thank you for sharing.
Yes, RELIEF! That's exactly how I felt when I escaped the chains of that cult. Whenever I think back to that life and see what I have now, I still experience that sense of relief.
When you said: "It's funny to hear everyone say I've got my whole life ahead of me when part me of me feels like I've already lived most of it." that really resonated with me. Life as a JW does make you older before your time. Instead of the lightness and freedom and joy of a typical childhood and youth, you're trudging along in drudgery and fear and guilt, worrying about your every move and thought and whether it's good enough. It's a miserable existence when you think about it. They rob you of the joy and innocence that others get to experience.
Whenever I listen to what my non-JW friends and relatives used to get up to as kids and teenagers (nothing bad or criminal, just fun), I experience a wistful sense of loss. I can't share in their stories. I just have to sit back and smile and laugh ... and wish I had the same. Damn the JWs for stealing that from me. goddamn them.
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Advice Needed - JW Grandparents
by What Now? inmy family has been out (inactive no meeting attendance or field service) for just over two years..
weve made many changes in our lives, including with our personal appearances (tattoos, piercings etc) that are a pretty obvious sign that we arent going back any time soon.
our families went through a period of time about a year ago when they made a lot of threats that if we left the truth, they wouldnt even be able to share a meal with us, they would stay loyal to jehovah etc.
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Gulf Coaster
Parents are the ultimate authority on how their children are raised, barring abuse or neglect. The OP doesn't like nor want all the proselytizing going on, and from the description, there's far too much of it. jeehova this, jeehova that, enough already! There's exposure and then there's saturation. Unfortunately with the JWs, it'll be full-on saturation because that's the way they roll. It's nice for kids to be exposed to different ideas and lifestyles in order to teach them tolerance and respect for others but the JWs don't do tolerance or respect for different ideas and lifestyles.
But take the religion aspect out of this for a moment and it boils down to disregard for the OPs parenting decisions. That is blatant and arrogant disrespect.
I don't believe in elevating grandparents to some mystical pedestal and having my authority & beliefs disrespected. Respect is a two-way street - you respect me, I'll respect you.
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Advice Needed - JW Grandparents
by What Now? inmy family has been out (inactive no meeting attendance or field service) for just over two years..
weve made many changes in our lives, including with our personal appearances (tattoos, piercings etc) that are a pretty obvious sign that we arent going back any time soon.
our families went through a period of time about a year ago when they made a lot of threats that if we left the truth, they wouldnt even be able to share a meal with us, they would stay loyal to jehovah etc.
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Gulf Coaster
Great advice, TheListener. It must be hard to be in your situation and I can understand your worry that your kids might turn into JW bots. That would definitely be a concern for me and I know I was lucky to have my husband firmly on my side (he never was a JW and has no time for them whatsoever).
It's good that you are telling your kids of the consequences and reality of being a JW, i.e., the normal fun things that were denied to you, and your regrets and sacrifices, rather than them getting only the glossy version of how "wonderful" JW life is supposed to be. They're luckier than kids with both JW parents in that they have a real life example of the non-JW world. How do they manage to put up with going to the DC and assemblies though? They must be bored out of their minds! Poor things.
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Advice Needed - JW Grandparents
by What Now? inmy family has been out (inactive no meeting attendance or field service) for just over two years..
weve made many changes in our lives, including with our personal appearances (tattoos, piercings etc) that are a pretty obvious sign that we arent going back any time soon.
our families went through a period of time about a year ago when they made a lot of threats that if we left the truth, they wouldnt even be able to share a meal with us, they would stay loyal to jehovah etc.
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Gulf Coaster
It's not really a "normal" relationship when your relatives are proselytizing to your kids. It's not as if they're reading harmless bible stories to them with nice messages behind them, like fairy tales. No, they're filling their heads with typical JW judgmentalism, intolerance and fear. I wouldn't stand for any babysitter, relative or not, preaching any religion or telling my kids to judge me or criticize what I do or don't do. That's just not on.
Years ago, after I'd been out of that cult for 8 or so years, happily married with 2 kids, living a wonderful cult-free life, my JW mother suddenly decided to stop shunning me. Probably due to the grandkids so I thought why not? It didn't take long before she sweetly suggested my kids needed religion in their lives. I practically exploded. It was absolutely NOT okay to have my kids be exposed to that cult's hateful dogma. I pictured exactly what you just posted - my kids' heads being filled with intolerant crap that made my husband and I look poorly and made my kids' view themselves and our family life with disapproval and guilt.
We didn't have a "village" when we raised our kids. It was hard but I'd rather not go out on dates than risk my children being brainwashed and turned against their own parents or made to feel guilty and less than adequate.
What I did was I very clearly, very firmly told my mother to not ever mention anything about her god or she would not be welcome in our house. It was harsh but I knew I had to be that way with her. If I was wishy-washy about it, she wouldn't have respected my stance.
They don't need to get mixed messages and feel bad about the everyday fun things us free people do and enjoy. What happens when Christmas comes around and they're all happy and excited about it? They don't need interfering relatives killing their joy and making it look like you're doing something wrong by celebrating it.
If I were you, I'd tell your rellies to back off with the religion. After all, if anything makes you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to put up with it, they're your kids.
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What are you up to this summer?
by Xanthippe ini really enjoy hearing about other people's lives.
feeling a little lonely this evening so please tell me if you have plans for the summer months.
i may go to some outdoor theatre with my daughter who's home from uni; with a picnic and a bottle of wine.
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Gulf Coaster
Some minor surgery early next month. A couple of weeks recovery. Then when I get the all clear, a road trip north from Florida to Montreal to visit hubby's rellies up there and enjoy some great Quebec food. On the way back, we will go via Maine where I've never been and get me some lobster! Further south, we'll stop off at a few barbecue meccas and get us some good 'Q'. I love road trips. The freedom, the flexibility, the view along the way. -
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My trip to the landfill
by hoser init was with great pleasure and with mrs hosers blessing that i took all of our bound volumes and other obsolete jehovah's witness books to the local landfill.
i threw them into the garbage pile and watched as a crawler tractor drove over them to pack them down.
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Gulf Coaster
No worries, Phizzy. After 58 years, you can be forgiven a little environmental mischief if it gave you satisfaction. -
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My trip to the landfill
by hoser init was with great pleasure and with mrs hosers blessing that i took all of our bound volumes and other obsolete jehovah's witness books to the local landfill.
i threw them into the garbage pile and watched as a crawler tractor drove over them to pack them down.
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Gulf Coaster
I was spared that task by walking out of my mother's house and bidding that nightmarish existence goodbye, not taking a single piece of propaganda with me. If I did have any, I'd be tempted to put it in a pile, douse it with lighter fluid, strike a match and happily watch it burn. But then that's not nice to the environment, so the recycle bin is where it would go. I'd hate for anybody at the recycle plant to see any of that propaganda and take it home out of curiosity so I'd tear up anything I could with my bare hands first. I think that would feel very therapeutic.